This afternoon Jason and I took Gracie to her first ever preschool open house. She was excited to meet her teacher and me, I was and still am freaking out. Gracie will get on the bus at 9:05am and ride for about 20 minutes before getting to school.
I know that this will be a great experience for her and she is going to love it, but I just can't stop worrying. Will they be able to care for her the way that she is accostumed to? Will she feel alone or included? Will she be able to trust the teacher she only met for 10 minutes? And my list of questions goes on and on.
This is such a hard experience. I was telling Jason, that I don't know if I could handle this and he couldn't quite understand where I was coming from. In his mind I should be able to let her go, enjoy some time with Morgan and Ryan, and just relax. But to me it isn't that simple.
Though I do have three children who I love and care for so so much. Gracie is unique in that she has depended soley on me to be her advocate, her teacher, her protector, her nurse, her friend. Other than being in the hospital to have Ryan, Gracie and I have always been together. It's like my identity is wrapped up in Gracie and all that I do to ensure that she is taken care of and has the best quality of life. With her attending school for 3 hours a day, four times a week, by herself without me, I feel lost and like I will be missing a huge part of me for that time. Does that sound weird and psychotic? Its not suppose to, its just hard that I won't be included in this aspect of her care as much as I want to be....
I just needed to get this out there, maybe there are some other mamas out there that feel the same way about their special needs kiddo.
I know we will get through this and in a couple weeks we both will be in love with Gracie attending school, but for now this is a step that I will approach with much hesitation and concern for my baby. I just don't want her to not be ok
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Raising Gracie's Star
Today we were able to complete Gracie's Make-A-Wish experience by going up to The Wishing Place, in Murray. Of the 66 Make-A-Wish chapters in the country, Utah's chapter is one of four that have a special atmosphere for Make-A-Wish kids and their families. The Wishing Place, was designed after taking into consideration input and opinions from Make-A-Wish kids.
When you walk in, if you look up you will see glass stars of all different colors hanging from the ceiling. Each star represents a Wish child and their wish and each star was raised by that wish child. The backyard has a special wishing pond, where the Wish child can get a special token to throw in and make another wish. Then on the second floor there is a special tower with a locked door, each Wish child gets their own key to unlock the door, where inside they get to leave their wish for the Wish Wizzard. Explaining it doesn't give it justice---so lucky for you we took video of Gracie's experience.
Gracie showing offer her star that she decorated. It was kind of funny because she freaked out when she got the marker on her hand.
Morgan and Gracie at the wishing pond
Entering the Wishing Tower.
Morgan and Gracie at the wishing pond
Entering the Wishing Tower.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Make-A-Wish
In January of this year we filled out all the paper work for Gracie to get a wish from Make-A-Wish. We debated whether to wait until she was older and could really wish for herself, but we felt that now was the right time. By May we met with Gracie's wish granters Annie and Brian, and in July her wish was granted!!!
Though Gracie would have loved going to Disney World, we decided to wish for a playset. Gracie absolutely loves to swing and what better than her own swing set so she could swing whenever she wants, for how long she wants.
Anyways, a couple weeks ago, Annie emailed me to tell me that the company they were getting the playset from were going to install it on July 8th. I was so excited because, July 8th was the day after Gracie's 3rd birthday. How exciting to have her wish granted for her birthday!
We surprised Gracie with a big party to 'unveil' the playset. We invited all of our family and friends, Annie and Brian brought a cake and balloons and we had an AMAZING time!
Annie and Brian even surprised Gracie with a special birthday present, her very own car!! I have always wanted Gracie to have her own power wheels car so that she could be able to play like others and keep up. Grace absolutley loves the car, we just have to teach her how to push the gas, but once we do, I know there is no stopping her. Now, though, she is perfectly fine just sitting in the car, listening to music.
The Make-A-Wish organization is amazing. I am so grateful that Gracie was given the opportunity to wish and find some hope and joy admist all she has to go through. I love that Gracie can go into the backyard and have fun and not be judged or looked at because of her differences. I hope that one day Jason and I will be in a position to fund another kiddo's wish
Though Gracie would have loved going to Disney World, we decided to wish for a playset. Gracie absolutely loves to swing and what better than her own swing set so she could swing whenever she wants, for how long she wants.
Anyways, a couple weeks ago, Annie emailed me to tell me that the company they were getting the playset from were going to install it on July 8th. I was so excited because, July 8th was the day after Gracie's 3rd birthday. How exciting to have her wish granted for her birthday!
We surprised Gracie with a big party to 'unveil' the playset. We invited all of our family and friends, Annie and Brian brought a cake and balloons and we had an AMAZING time!
Annie and Brian even surprised Gracie with a special birthday present, her very own car!! I have always wanted Gracie to have her own power wheels car so that she could be able to play like others and keep up. Grace absolutley loves the car, we just have to teach her how to push the gas, but once we do, I know there is no stopping her. Now, though, she is perfectly fine just sitting in the car, listening to music.
The Make-A-Wish organization is amazing. I am so grateful that Gracie was given the opportunity to wish and find some hope and joy admist all she has to go through. I love that Gracie can go into the backyard and have fun and not be judged or looked at because of her differences. I hope that one day Jason and I will be in a position to fund another kiddo's wish
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Gracie's 3rd Birthday!!
Thursday was Gracie's 3rd birthday!!! She was so excited to have a birthday party, which we combined with her Make-A-Wish party on Friday (I will post about that later). So Thursday we kept it kind of quiet, since Gracie doesn't eat or have a favorite meal we decided to just take them to the local carnival. Gracie loved it! We disconnected her from her oxygen tank and I took her down the big yellow slide, she is such a thrill seeker.
Turning 3 has been a bittersweet milestone....every birthday Gracie can celebrate is a miracle, but it also means that we had to say goodbye to all of our therapist who have helped Gracie get to where she is today since she aged out of Early intervention. Each therapist has made such an impact in our lives and we can only hope that we will stay in touch with them.
Developmentally Gracie is doing amazingly well and is catching up. Verbally we can understand about 95 % of what she says. Gracie is always singing, it is the cutest thing ever. Her favorite song is 5 little monkeys (I should post a video of her singing it). Gracie is walking now! Granted she isn't doing it consistently, but can take about 15 steps independently. She cruises all the time now and is so much more brave on her feet. All I wanted was for her to be walking by her 3rd birthday and she is!
Turning 3 has been a bittersweet milestone....every birthday Gracie can celebrate is a miracle, but it also means that we had to say goodbye to all of our therapist who have helped Gracie get to where she is today since she aged out of Early intervention. Each therapist has made such an impact in our lives and we can only hope that we will stay in touch with them.
Developmentally Gracie is doing amazingly well and is catching up. Verbally we can understand about 95 % of what she says. Gracie is always singing, it is the cutest thing ever. Her favorite song is 5 little monkeys (I should post a video of her singing it). Gracie is walking now! Granted she isn't doing it consistently, but can take about 15 steps independently. She cruises all the time now and is so much more brave on her feet. All I wanted was for her to be walking by her 3rd birthday and she is!
Health wise Grace is doing great. She hasn't had any major illnesses and seems to be doing ok from a cardiac stand point. We go back to cardiology in September and then we will have a better idea as to how soon her next surgery will be. Gracie tires quickly and gets bluer with more activity, but she is just amazing!
In the fall Gracie will be going to school. It kills me to think of her being any where without me, especially riding the bus to and from school on her own, but I know she will love it. Since she is still so far behind she qualifies for the school district preschool, which means she'll be going 4 times a week.
We love our Gracie so much, she is such a miracle and example to us!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Yeah!!! I lost access to my blog for several weeks and today I tried to log in and it worked! I have so many things to blog about; the kids, our new house, Gracie's Make-A-Wish, but for now I will leave you with some pictures and a promise that there will be a new post tomorrow!
The girls on the wooden pony at the zoo.
Our beautiful blue eyed boy!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
So I realize that it has been over two months since I have updated the blog and frankly that is just too long!! Though not much has happened I do feel like there is still so much to update. I thought instead of doing one huge post, I would update with three different posts, one for each child. So this post is going to be all about about our little man, Ryan. 
Ryan is now 5 months old and is such a sweetie. His smile and laugh just melt our hearts. He absolutely loves his jumper and though there has been several times where he has successfully rolled over from both his back and stomach he still isn't doing it consistently. Ryan can sit up on his own for about a minute before he topples over and loves playing with his sisters.
One of Ryan's favorite people is his older Morgan. Though Ryan is 5 months old the novelty has not run off for Morgan and she cannot leave him alone. Usually Morgan can make Ryan laugh at the drop of a dime, and though there are many times she freaks Ryan out by picking him up and rolling around on the floor with him he still squeals as Morgan plays with him.
Ryan loves when Gracie will come close to him and play, but this happens very rarely because Ryan is teething, hence drooling like crazy, which freaks Grace out.
We love our little man and can't believe how fast he is growing...I wish we could just bottle him up and keep him this little.
Ryan is now 5 months old and is such a sweetie. His smile and laugh just melt our hearts. He absolutely loves his jumper and though there has been several times where he has successfully rolled over from both his back and stomach he still isn't doing it consistently. Ryan can sit up on his own for about a minute before he topples over and loves playing with his sisters.
One of Ryan's favorite people is his older Morgan. Though Ryan is 5 months old the novelty has not run off for Morgan and she cannot leave him alone. Usually Morgan can make Ryan laugh at the drop of a dime, and though there are many times she freaks Ryan out by picking him up and rolling around on the floor with him he still squeals as Morgan plays with him.
Ryan loves when Gracie will come close to him and play, but this happens very rarely because Ryan is teething, hence drooling like crazy, which freaks Grace out.
We love our little man and can't believe how fast he is growing...I wish we could just bottle him up and keep him this little.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Some Videos
Saturday afternoon I was playing with Ryan and Gracie and was able to get some of Ryan giggling on video. Ignore my awful singing and just allow yourself to melt while you listen to the precious laughs of a little one.
Gracie has come a long way with Ryan and I was able to get her to hold him for a few seconds. I find it hilarious what Gracie does when she is done holding him.
This is what Gracie is doing all the time. I love that she just wants to be up and is realizing more and more what her feet and legs are for.
Gracie has come a long way with Ryan and I was able to get her to hold him for a few seconds. I find it hilarious what Gracie does when she is done holding him.
This is what Gracie is doing all the time. I love that she just wants to be up and is realizing more and more what her feet and legs are for.
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