The Heart World

This week has been a rough week in the heart world and it has really thrown me for a loop.  A sweet, beautiful 4 yr. old little girl has returned home to her Heavenly Father.  Though I personally don't know this little sweetheart or her family, the devastation felt is immense. 

Mia received a heart transplant at just four months old.  Last week her and her family left on her Make a Wish trip to Disney World.  Upon arriving there, Mia got really sick, was rushed to the hospital and it was determined she was in severe rejection.  During a procedure, things went wrong and poor Mia soon lost her valiant fight. 

It was so sudden and unexpected for her family.  My heart is heavy and literally aches for them.  This has reminded me how fragile Gracie really is, and it scares me to death.  Gracie has been doing so well and amazing us all that it is has been nice not to be reminded of her sick heart.  But the truth is her heart is sick, and each day we are asking it to work in ways that are overwhelming. 

Since the day I found out about Gracie's special heart, I feared I would lose my sweet baby.  Now four blessed and beautiful years later, that fear has multiplied exponentially.  Four years ago, I closed down in so many aspects.  And though it may not be the healthiest thing to have done, it was what I needed to do to survive.  Now, I feel, that despite wanting to still be "shut off,"  I need to work on healing and opening up because this heart journey is too hard to do alone. 

I only hope that I will always remember to cherish and bask in the joy of having my children each and every day.  I hope that I will learn again to truly trust and have faith in my Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, my Savior.  I hope to allow my heart to be more open and connected with others in this heart journey, no matter how hard the sorrow may be.  For in much sorrow, there is also much joy, seeing the miracles and blessings that come.