At 6am Jason and I made the long walk down to Primary Children's PICU from my hospital room in the U of U hospital. We held our precious Gracie for the whole two hours before they came and took her down to the operating room. We have been so blessed to have been able to hold Grace as much as we have been able to, especially since we know don't know how soon we will be able to hold her again.
At 8am we kissed our little angel goodbye and left her in the hands of the surgeons and anesthesiologist and began the long wait of receiving updates and counting down the hours till she will be done. Finally at 2pm we were met by the surgeon, he told us that Gracie was done with the surgery and now in her room getting settled in. The surgery went well, she only had one "episode" where the doctors had to resuscitate her. She came off of the heart and lung machine just fine and her stats were all where they needed to be, other than her oxygen saturation levels. The doctor was very confident that Grace did well and of course told us that the next few days will be the most critical.
We then waited 15 more minutes and were able to go and see her. Jason and I went back and as we were washing our hands one of the cardiologists stopped me and told me again how well she was doing. Talking to him made me lose my focus, I glanced into the room and lost it. I bawled and my knees began to buckle, I couldn't go into the room. I went to the hallway and sat with my father-in-law and mother-in-law for about half an hour trying to calm down. Everything finally caught up to me and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I really didn't know if I was going to be able to go and see her, but eventually I was able to go in and see my precious child. Yes she was the same child we left that morning, but she didn't look the same. Her skin was now pale, her body was becoming more and more swollen and her sweet chest was now covered in bandages that were protecting her "fixed" heart.
It is amazing how quickly we fall in love with our children and how we would gladly walk through fire and suffer every hardship and trial they have to go through if it would be beneficial for them. Unfortunately we can't but we do know that our Savior does know what Gracie is going through and will be there to help her through it. It is my belief that though I can't hold and comfort my baby at this time, that Heavenly Father is showering his love upon her and she feels the comfort of his arms around her at this time.
Please keep our Gracie in your prayers, we have a long road ahead of us.
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing this Deanna. We are praying for sweet Grace.
You are all in our prayers and hearts continually, Deanna. And you are certainly a much stronger person than I am.
I'm glad that she is doing so well! I know that you would much rather have her not have to go through such hard things especially when she's only a few days old, but you said it yourself, the Lord knows what shee is going through and He knows what you are going through as well. We love your family and are so glad you have Grace to add to it. She is as amazing as you are.
I am happy to hear that Grace is doing well after her surgery and I hope that you are doing well also. She is a beautiful little girl. I can't wait to see more pictures of her and your family. I will continue to pray for you and Grace over these next crucial days.
Erica Lai
(I am posting under my husbands account b/c I can't figure out how to log in under mine.)
Grace is beautiful and our prayers are continually with her and you! Bless all of your hearts!!!
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