For the most part Gracie's cath looked fairly good. Her lung pressures are still boarder line, being at 15% (anything above 15% is a bit too risky), she had a lot of collaterals that they couldn't coil off, but are hoping that after the Fontan they won't be that significant because of where they are. However, there are a bunch of collaterals that branch out into the lungs that could contribute to fluid build-up and retention after surgery. This could be a problem because Fontan kiddos tend to struggle with plural effusions, so this could just compound the situation.
Dr. Kaza the surgeon that will be doing Gracie's surgery seems pleased with what was seen in the cath lab, so we are a go for October 18th. Leading up to today, I wanted so desperately for things to look good so that she could have the Fontan. And now that I know there is no question about it, I am freaking out!!
There are so many factors that we have to juggle while Gracie is in the hospital, I just don't know how we are going to do it. I know that I NEED and HAVE to be at the hospital with Gracie, there is no question about it. I am the one who knows everything about Gracie, I know every reaction she has had, I know what behaviors to expect, I know how to calm her and make her happy. Don't get me wrong Jason knows a lot of these things too, but there is just something about mommies being the one that are most qualified to be with their sick kiddos.
Even though I know my place is with Gracie, I am heart sick that I won't be home with my other two babies. Just today, being gone from Morgan and Ryan all day, drove me nuts! Morgan may be old enough to understand what is going on, but I am sure she is going to still want me home after the novelty of being with family and friends every day wears off. And Ryan is just so little, how will he know that he is still loved? That his mama loves him and wishes to be with him too? The only comfort that I can find and what allows me to know that I can stay with Gracie is knowing that we have a grandma and an aunt who will be taking great care of my babies while Jay has to work and I'm at the hospital.
What a hard road. We're hoping that with lots of phone calls, video chats, and visits and hopefully an occasional switch with dad and grandma we will get through this and all be reunited quickly.
The average hospital stay for this surgery is anywhere between 10-14 days. After a long talk with Gracie's cardiologist, he said he would be extremely happy if she would be discharged in two weeks. With that said though, she has a lot working against her. But I think she has so much going for her now, than she did with her two previous surgeries. She is stronger, fiestier, and healthier. Maybe, just maybe, my Gracie girl will surprise us all and beat the odds and do wonderfully well!!