Thursday, May 29, 2008


I have always been fascinated with people and their personalities, perhaps that is why I studied behavioral sciences in college. Anyways I've been thinking a lot about how we are born with our personalities and our experiences in life either nurture those personalities or alter them in a way that perhaps causes a detriment to the individual. For example, children who have rather meek and mild personalities that are raised by overprotective parents--though I'm sure those parents mean the best, perhaps their efforts cause their children to not respond and grow as quickly as others would in similar situations.
I am realizing now even before Grace is born how different each child is even while in the womb. It is one of my big fears that I won't be able to cater my parenting style to each of my children to allow for their most optimal growth, so that they can succeed in all that they do and experience in life.

While I was pregnant with Morgan I was always afraid something was wrong with her because she didn't move as much as 'everyone' says a fetus should move. She was always up high in my ribs, even the day before she was born. At the time I didn't think much of it, but now I see how her personality was coming out even while in utero. She is a very calm and loving child. She always remains close to me or whoever is watching her. Whenever she cuddles she has to be stroking some part of your body. She is just very sweet and loving.

This pregnancy is quiet different--Grace is constantly moving and I'm carrying her quite low. For each of the ultrasounds and fetal echos we have had to have, she has never been in the best position for 'pictures' or for the doctors and technicians to view and see clearly what they need to. And if by chance she is in the right position--well look fast because it is almost like she is toying with you and will move without any notice.

Up until yesterday I didn't really have a clear opinion on what Grace's personality would be like-I've prayed that she would be feisty and that my fighter personality would get passed down to her...I am convinced it has. Yesterday we had another fetal echo, we were there with the technician and doctor for twice the amount of time than is usually expected; not because there was problems, but because of the total noncooperation of my daughter. First of all, she was again in a really difficult position to see anything clearly, so they had to take a round about method of getting the views they needed. Secondly, she would not stop moving, LITERALLY. For the whole hour and 45 minutes she moved and kicked and turned. When the technician finally got a good picture of the heart, within moments Grace folded her arms across her chest and wouldn't move them. Shortly after she brought her legs up and was in a little ball--almost as if to say, I know what you're doing and I'm not going to let it happen. So the technician literally stayed in the same spot for 20 minutes playing the waiting game..waiting to see if Grace would move. She didn't so the technician decided to take some pictures of the umbilical cord--hopefully tricking Grace enough so she would put her guard down. Well when the technician went back to check her heart, she couldn't find Grace for a moment, she was up in my rib cage sucking on her fingers!!! There came a point where the technician wanted me to try singing to her (I didn't) but I did start poking at her and she kicked back with such force that the technician couldn't help but laugh. I guess she has never seen a fetus do that before with such force and apparent intent.

So after that long recap--you can see why I'm convinced that my little Grace is and will be a fighter, it doesn't change things or how I feel about the road we will travel; but it does give me strength knowing that She will hopefully fight as hard as I would and am in my prayers.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Learning new words.

Morgan is at the stage that I just love--she is repeating words and using them more and more. Today she learned the word Hippo and used it as we read several books about animals. Everytime she learns a new letter of the alphabet she thinks that letter is the letter she sees everywhere. For example, we taught her the letter M--so even the Y in the mountain is an M.

But perhaps Jason's favorite new word is HAND, now you may be thinking that isn't that fun of a word, but when Morgan says it, it does not sound like hand. Jason is convinced it sounds like as*. Morgan started this thing where if we are in the car she wants to hold our hand, so all we hear is as*, as*, as*--Jason finds it so hilarious.

Check out the video and tell me if you think it sounds like Hand or As*

**I realize that this may seem like a immature post--but you can't be mature all the time :)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Some summer fun

The weather for the last two days has been amazing. Temperatures were in the high 80s and low 90s, sunny and barely any clouds in the sky. So who could resist some early summer activities?

Yesterday evening we had a BBQ with some friends, nothing fancy, but fun never the less. We were going to go up to the canyon, but stuck around Heritage halls since both of our daughters were cranky--though you can't tell in these pictures.

Today we decided to pull out Morgan's new pool. It isn't a typical baby pool--it inflates with water and then squirts it out of tiny holes in the top.

The kids were very hesitant to sit in the pool, but they loved playing on the sides with the squirting water. When they finally did get in, the bottom was too slippery and they would fall on their bums and get splashed in the face with the squirting water. The kids didn't find it funny but we certainly did.

We can't wait until summer is here to stay!!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Something that has been really difficult for me this pregnacy is trying to buy things for Grace. Granted she doesn't need much because Morgan got spoiled and has so many clothes, but I'm a firm believer that if we can afford it, each of our children will at least have a couple of things that were bought just for them.

Jason and I have gone out shopping numerous times but it has always been too difficult to buy anything. Once Jason even tried to make me buy something for the baby, but I refused and he ended up picking something out and getting it. Anyways, I have finally been able to buy a couple of things for Grace that I was actually excited about.

1. A photo album. Since I have an ultrasound appointment almost every month I have many more pictures of Grace in the womb then I do of Morgan. So I decided to start a photo album for her even before she comes. Plus regardless of what happens, pictures will always be kept and looked at often.

2. A Joural. Several years ago my friend Niki told me how she was keeping a journal for each of her girls and I feel in love with the idea. So when I found out I was pregnate with Morgan I went out and bought her a journal and even started recording thoughts and feelings about her before she was born. With Grace...again I dragged my feet doing this. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but it was just hard on so many levels. When I finally felt ready to start journaling for Grace, I spent three weeks searching for the perfect journal. I finally picked one--it has the picture tittled "Be Not Afraid," by Greg Olsen. Its a picture of Jesus holding one child and helping another onto a rock. I felt this was so appropriate because we have quite the journey ahead of us and we need to try and not be afraid, but trust that Jesus will take us by the hand and lead us to where HE wants us to end up.

3. A stufted animal. For babies that will be spending an extended stay in the hospital it is recommended not to bring in blankets that you are attached to because they could get lost in the laundry. When Jason and I were at the store the other day I found this little stuffed animal and fell in love with it, thinking that it would be perfect for Grace. Its a little catepiller with a rattle in its bum. It is perfect to love on and even act as a leg rest for legs that will need to be elevated at times. My hope is that it will become Grace's "security blanket" and bring her comfort and peace during all the doctor's visits, surgeries, etc.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Random thoughts

This evening Morgan and I visited a friend who just had a baby girl a couple days ago. I forgot how tiny newborns are even though it seems like Morgan was that small just a couple of months ago.

It was so sweet to see Morgan with the little baby--she was soft and gentle and loved on her. Morgan was able to hold the baby and she thought it was the best thing ever; when I took the baby from her she got upset and then stood up and hugged and kissed her. I couldn't help but feel sad knowing that Morgan will most likely not be able to do that with our little Grace when she comes. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was excited that Morgan and the next baby would be so close--as my pregnancy progressed and Morgan matured I dreamed and envisioned Morgan coming and seeing the baby and just being enthralled by her and wanting to hold and love on her. Now I can only hope that she will be able to visit Grace when she is born and hopefully we will have our miracle and Grace will come home and we will be able to raise her here in this life.

On a different note--I'm including a cute picture of Morgan and her grandpa Tom--it was taken today to send to Tom's mother for mother's day. Morgan loves her grandpa, especially because he lets her sit on his lap and 'drive' the car. She is also partly named after him, I have always loved the name Morgan since high school and Jason liked it too. When we were married I found out that Tom's middle name is Morgan--so needless to say everyone in the family thinks that we named her after Tom when in reality it is a really big coincidence.