Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Being Mommy

Since Grace was born other than pumping and storing breast milk and sitting by her side stroking her hair and praying for her there has been very little that I could do for my sweet girl. However, slowly many of Grace's nurses have allowed me to be more 'active' in my interactions with her.

First I was able to suction out her mouth when she had too much spit in it. Then I was able to put lotion on her dry skin. Next I started taking her temperature and changing diapers. Today I even changed two stinky diapers!! Who ever thought that would be an exciting event? And the crowning event was to be able to almost hold her.

Let me explain...because she still has the breathing tube in and her wound on her chest is quite bad we can't hold her and sit in the chair with her. But our wonderful nurse tonight said that she would help us kind of hold Gracie by putting our arms under her and pulling her closer to us. So we put down the side of her little bed, slide one arm under her neck and the other under her bum and just cuddled with her. I was the happiest person alive at that moment--to have my baby in my arms again, words can not describe the joy that I felt. All I can say is that Gracie better like being held because once her tube comes out and I'm given the ok, I'll be holding her for my entire visits!!

As for where Grace is, not much has changed. We still are waiting for Grace to get all of the excess fluid off to allow for easier breathing. Plus her chest wound is not healing as well as it should be, so she is being watched closely to make sure that it is heading in the right direction and not getting worse or infected.


Gourley Family said...

The picture in the middle reminds me of Morgan as a baby. I loved doing the little things for Ryker. At work, when we have "sick" babies, I always encourage the Moms and Dads to do the little things, so they can to feel the connection to there babies. Ask if you can give her a sponge bath. They usually do them during the night, but they will wait if you ask them so you can do it. We are praying always for Gracie, and Mike and I out her on the prayer-roll at the temple. W pray for you and Jason also. Hope you guys have another peaceful day and Gracie can get some of that fluid off!
Mike and Em

Erica said...

Yeah! I am sure it felt wonderful to finally hold your little girl again.

Oliver and Megan Hansen said...

I'm so glad that you were able to "hold" her. I'm sure that means a lot. Onwards and hopefully upwards from here!

The Taylor Bunch said...

Have a GREAT day tomorrow D! You look so happy in your pictures with Grace. I know she knows you are there sending her positive vibes.


i know this is strange ... found your blog through the gourleys blog and found their blog i dont even know how. but this is what i needed tonight. its like almost 5 am and i cant sleep yet another night. 5 years ago i delivered a baby gilr with spina bifida and many other defects at 29 weeks. 9 surgeries later we are still kicking and fighting. on the 13th she returns to PCMC for a major major surgery and i feel just like you did i am sure in the few moments and days you had before gracie had surgery, just soaking up every last moment. i can never sleep, my mind will not let me. i am so tired, and so scared. i have done this so many times but i just cant do it strong enough, i am a mess. anyhow reading all these medical blogs has been probably just what i needed. i know there are other moms and families out there going through the same stuff, harder stuff even. but sometimes you only have the energy to focus on your own stuff and then you need a little gratitude reminder and also a little your not alone reminder. gracie will be in my prayers too this morning.