At 6am Jason and I made the long walk down to Primary Children's PICU from my hospital room in the U of U hospital. We held our precious Gracie for the whole two hours before they came and took her down to the operating room. We have been so blessed to have been able to hold Grace as much as we have been able to, especially since we know don't know how soon we will be able to hold her again.
At 8am we kissed our little angel goodbye and left her in the hands of the surgeons and anesthesiologist and began the long wait of receiving updates and counting down the hours till she will be done. Finally at 2pm we were met by the surgeon, he told us that Gracie was done with the surgery and now in her room getting settled in. The surgery went well, she only had one "episode" where the doctors had to resuscitate her. She came off of the heart and lung machine just fine and her stats were all where they needed to be, other than her oxygen saturation levels. The doctor was very confident that Grace did well and of course told us that the next few days will be the most critical.
We then waited 15 more minutes and were able to go and see her. Jason and I went back and as we were washing our hands one of the cardiologists stopped me and told me again how well she was doing. Talking to him made me lose my focus, I glanced into the room and lost it. I bawled and my knees began to buckle, I couldn't go into the room. I went to the hallway and sat with my father-in-law and mother-in-law for about half an hour trying to calm down. Everything finally caught up to me and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I really didn't know if I was going to be able to go and see her, but eventually I was able to go in and see my precious child. Yes she was the same child we left that morning, but she didn't look the same. Her skin was now pale, her body was becoming more and more swollen and her sweet chest was now covered in bandages that were protecting her "fixed" heart.
It is amazing how quickly we fall in love with our children and how we would gladly walk through fire and suffer every hardship and trial they have to go through if it would be beneficial for them. Unfortunately we can't but we do know that our Savior does know what Gracie is going through and will be there to help her through it. It is my belief that though I can't hold and comfort my baby at this time, that Heavenly Father is showering his love upon her and she feels the comfort of his arms around her at this time.
Please keep our Gracie in your prayers, we have a long road ahead of us.